The World Needs People Who Understand People

I've recently been discussing the idea of confidence more and more with the actors and clients I work with. Where confidence comes from, how some people seem to have more of it than others. The inner scripts that we have that are really pulling the strings and causing us to either lead with strength or falter with a shakier version of ourselves.

Is it maybe because we had that shut down and everything went online and people stopped communicating in person and sensing each other's energy and vibe. I used to discuss that as one of the top reasons I felt people's confidence was decreasing. The further away we got from the true experience of the human condition the harder it was to truly read a room, reply on our own spontaneous reactions, trust that we were genuinely being affective in a moment.

Though I do now notice that there are more levels of confidence issues in people and the insecurities run really really deep. Not only actors are affected. All communicators. Those needing to make an impact are relying on AI and artificial means to help construct their asnwers and thoughts maybe because it's easier but maybe because they also aren't trusting themselves the way they used to.

So as we talk about confidence and communication. About emotional intelligence. About how to affect other people I've come to ask this question more and more;

Do you understand people?

Not people as employees, clients, customers, voters, audiences, numbers, or titles.

People as human beings.

Because the world doesn't need more people who have simply learned how to look like leaders and communicators. Or people who can copy AI's version of that, but people who truly understand other people.

Those people who can truly learn the art of discovering the humanity of other people are the ones who can actually lead other human beings and affect other human beings.

Actors Have to Understand What Makes People Human

I tell my actors, if you read through your material, if you rehearse and you don't have any questions, you are not exploring and you are not truly doing anything.

If you want to understand people, you have to ask questions.

What does this person want?

What are they afraid of?

What are they hiding?

What happened to them before this moment?

What do they believe?

What do they need from the person standing across from them?

What are they unwilling to admit—even to themselves?

And perhaps most importantly:

What is happening between these two people right now?

Those are not just acting questions.

They're human questions.

They're also leadership questions.

Confidence requires you to learn to relinquish control.

Confidence and strength is being able to say, I don't know, but I will work to find out.

It's being able to walk into a difficult conversation without knowing exactly how the other person is going to respond.

It's being able to listen without immediately preparing your defense.

Actors learn this every time they walk into an audition, rehearsal, or performance.

There's a sense that we prepare to be out of control of the moment.

You cannot control what the other actor is going to give you.

You cannot control exactly how an audience will respond.

You cannot control whether a scene will go the way you imagined it.

You can only control how fully you show up.

And I think that is a powerful form of confidence. The ability to give up control and be present in a moment with others ready to receive whatever they may give so you can truly understand them.

Let's talk more about it. Head to the site www.lisinastoneburner.com